orientation

i peed in a cup, was told how to wash my hands, and instructed not to play with anyone's blood or faeces, all completed while signing a dozen forms that i prmoised to work hard, be on time, use ethical standards and best practices, and to never, ever use scotch tape in the building (the ceo has a thing about scotch tape). i was not going to school, jail, or being interviewed by INS; today was "orientation".

corporate compliance and quality improvement absorbed most of the afternoon, where we picked at our muffins and watched videos on how to avoid back injuries at work- "plan your move before you lift that ream of copier paper"- and circled quizzes to test our knowledge base of the policies and procedures: if someone throws up do you a) go play in it and try to make little figures and animals to distract the client from their distress? b) point and laugh, they have to toughen up and maybe NEXT time they'll learn to get to a bathroom a bit quicker, or c) run gagging, out of the room, hand clapped firmly over mouth while trying not to slip and slide in the hazardous waste?

in conclusion, we were told that we are on the front lines for catching flu, chicken pox, TB, lice and ringworm. i'm already a step ahead on this one, i just noticed a new little crop on my hand that never went away from my last fungal infection.