Thursday, May 10, 2007

job description

my supervisor handed me a copy of my job description yesterday. technically i have two jobs; 'clinical specialist' and 'program supervisor', this is perfect as i am wholly under the delusion that i have superior multi tasking skills; until i attempt to accomplish and complete an actual task.

once again, i feel as if i have been handed a ziploc bag (not even a boxed set) of jigsaw puzzle pieces (the jumbo, supersize, family version of 5,000 pieces, each the size of an m&m). the picture is of baked beans. at night.

i have at least located the 4 corners and all the edges; my office has been located, i have identified my phone (what i actually do with it beyond that i have no bloody clue, however i have no doubt there is a 35 page policy and procedure operations manual close to hand), i have an ID badge to get me into the building (and also differentiate me from the teenage girls wandering up and down the hall), and scattered pens and a notepad in a haphazard "gosh, i'm super busy, productive middle management with important things like meetings, with people who wear suits and ties, to attend" formation.

today i was ushered onto the unit/house in a state of considerable emergency by one of the residential counselors and her young charge. it would appear there was an insect in his bedroom (he was wailing and quite distressed, the RC looked like she was on the verge too). my 2 years of graduate study only involved cutting and pasting papers together and chapter skimming, fortunately my roomate at the time had acute insect-o-phobia and i was responsible for the extinguishing of any uninvited houseguests (except her mooching boyfriend) of the hard shelled, scuttling variety. i have no idea the breed of the beastie in little johnnie's room, but it reeked of the cockroach genum (genus? phylum? all those years sitting in bilogy certainly paid off), it was also of the 'size of a small child's bedroom slipper' phloem (?), and had tentacles and antenna. fortunately the underside of my flip flop provided sufficient squash, crunch 'n drag to exterminate the blighter.

perhaps i should start wearing a cape to work?

3 comments:

Linda said...

Who you gonna call...Disa.
Doesn't really have a ring to it. Besides I hear that capes are serious safety hazards. You could get it caught in a slamming door and choke, or worse.

total-spender said...

Nah, a cape would be too masculine. That said, I'm sure wearing one of the cat-woman type outfits would raise more than a few eyebrows.

If you heed said advice then please post some pictures.

Melinder said...

I like the power packed flip flops myself! Nothing says power like a plastic shoe!