share the road

over the course of many courses, i have run by (and occasionally into) a veritable bevy of animals, vegetables and minerals. a typical 5km excursion is not complete without at least one sighting of the common and pestilent species 'pick-up-truckus-full-of-mulleted-rednecks', often heard braying a rather futile call to courtship; "run forrest, run!" punctuated with a loud whistle or honk of the horn-- for the hard of hearing female. it is a wonder that their phylum is not extinct, but even amoeba's can multiply.

depending on the geographical coordinates, i have run the gauntlet of a country road full of listless sheep outside cambridge, dodged an assault course of turds left by the bahraini prime minister's herd of camels, and had a man in spandex give me an extra little push up a steep hill.

i have even been overtaken by a chain smoking gentleman (of a rather portly disposition) at the helm of a hover round, complete with oxygen tank and associated breathing apparatus- presumably for those taxing uphills.

yesterday, however, i witnessed my first cross country roller skiier(?) (obviously unique to this region), go sailing through the traffic lights.



i look forward to seeing an atlantic lobster, navigating the bunny slopes, this winter.

yankee doodle redneck

kfc's are to the bluegrass state, as red lobster's are to vacationland (that's kentucky and maine to those of you not proficient in your state license plates), and these fast food eateries are surprisingly lacking in both aforementioned locations. contrary to the perception that new england is the breeding ground for harvard grads (separated by half a degree from the kennedy's), that were weaned as infants from maple syrup to lobster, quoting thoreau, en francaise, from the cradle, to become nobel prize winners who drive an l.l. bean upholstered subaru to the family's private ski resort, the illusion is dispelled when walking into any wal-mart (vermont may have banned billboards from their landscape, but you cant outlaw wally world); which are just as replete with wifebeater wearing folks, as any rebel flag loving mullet man, in dixie.

in the northeast, however, roundabouts are as commonplace as the very anglo-saxon sounding streets/counties/towns (gloucester, scarborough et al., although the pronunciation is somewhat reminiscent of a midwesterner's elocution of versailles) and yankee motorists actually know how to use them.

roundabouts are also one of the few traffic features that don't have a toll booth upon entering or exiting them.

the kentucky state fair

apparently there was a redneck convention going on somewhere else in kentucky this weekend, because the mullet tally at the state fair was highly disappointing. and i cannot accept that america's trailer parks have received the bulletin that this "do" is done.

while i could count the number of mullets on one hand, the balance was tipped by the volume of obesity at the fairgrounds, further enabled by a surfeit of motorized hover-round wheelchairs. fortunately they are now designed (baskets on the handle bars) with deep fried concessions in mind. perhaps the real kodak moment of the afternoon was the 7 months pregnant carnie; standing in the shade, puffing on a cigarette.

i did not see any flying mormons this year. i did not laugh until my stomach hurt.
entertainment rating: 1 and a half stars.