Monday, October 27, 2008

canine couture



i am an ardent supporter of having the freedom to make fun of that very special breed of pet owner who intentionally, repeatedly, and even worse, seasonally, dresses their animals in anything more than medically necessary paraphernalia.

karma has just given me a resounding slap around the chops.

this past week, i took reilly out for her bi-daily consitutional, and she spent much of it shivering (it gets cold in new england, you know). my immediate concern became the very real possibility of having to wipe and/or chip poosicles hanging out of her rectum.

while the prospect of putting a cork in for the winter, appeals to my own aversion of her (and therefore me, as the holder of the leash and plastic bag) toileting in several feet of snow, layering of both parties seems the most humane option- and "uncorking" her after 6 months just sounds downright dangerous.

fortunately, american pet retailers have a veritable baskin-robbins selection to cover every imagined weather condition and social obligation. owners can now express and project their own identities onto their four legged friends, whether it's an outdoorsy, x-treme "little fluffy" in snowshoes and north face vest, or "rover" in a polo shirt and arglye sweater (burberry dresses for the ladies), jauntily swinging a 9 iron on the green. obviously, the uber hipster pooches don't need anything more than to grow out their face fur, all the better from which to peer moodily, overcome with angst at the limited choices in organic doggie treats.

i realize that ugg's and giant sunglasses would complete her outfit, but she has already asked for her very own miniature dog, to tote around in a purse, for christmas.

6 comments:

mansuetude said...

Now i am in Shock...
What about a snowhat, pulled down about the ears and gloves, something in deer moccassin ... ? Skiis, snowshoes...

The cork is too funny, never thought of it; you Are always thinking potty area potty issues... are you Freud reincarnated?

Sometimes little dogs shiver to warm themselves up; or to release energy... by january you will knit her a scarf, and she will wear it around the house. My dog won't move if we put anything on him, he stands there like ok, i am not gonna be seen in this!!!

Disa said...

i was surprised she tolerated it- i thought she might tear it to pieces as she is quite homicidal towards furry, inanimate objects. i would imagine she would need something on her feet once there's ice and snow on the ground though? like ice-skates!

mansuetude said...

ahhh popp poooo

i just felt like saying it
where it was understood.

;)

hope u are warm!

mansuetude said...

suppose i should come by and clean that up... :)

Disa said...

funny, i was just thinking during today's bowel excursions about how some dog owners think its perfectly acceptable to leave their dog's poo on other people's property, including the general community's property. its not the best fun wiping anythings bum, but then neither is having to plunge your own toilet after a heavy bout of fibre.

you are always welcome to leave "deposits" here. :)

pollypissypants said...

hahaha brilliant