Tuesday, February 5, 2008

all signs point to "yes"

sometimes it would be nice to have a very obvious "stop", "one way", or "dead end" at the seemingly never-bloody-ending estuaries of (my) life. perhaps more urgent because the map reading and navigation areas of my brain appear to be in a perpetual state of atrophy. however, even when asking for signs to launch into explosive fireworks along my well manicured yellow brick road, i tend to get a little greedy. when exactly are there enough signs (to stop procrastinating)?

an anxious "before the alarm goes off" dream of my desired outcome; a voicemail from a friend i hadn't spoken to in a while assuming i was engaging in the very thing i was waiting for signs/procrastinating from; the theme of the commemorative stamp collection stapled to the display board at the local post office; a co-worker i rarely talk to (and know very little about), throwing out the very noun i'd just seen at the post office/in my dream/cited in the voicemail.

once i stopped procrastinating, validation quickly followed.

outlook is good.


mansuetude said...

you are so too hard on yourself--i think its a fact of your intelligent mind... Your writing voice is so multi-layered, i bet you're not procrastinating but actually building interior roots... strong grip on something you don't see the "reality" of yet! If this makes sense...

Disa said...

you just reframed things in a way i didnt have the words to. interior roots...i like that, they sound a lot easier to get used to than those big ones we get to see, sit on, ride bikes over.