Monday, October 22, 2007

riding across the gender divide

guys can pee sitting down; we are on equal turf. however, all those who wear spandex are not created equal- and spandex can be pretty unforgiving. i do not ride too often with the "stronger sex", primarily because i do not want; "that much of a workout". however, every now and again, its good to see how far i can push before CPR and/or a defibrillator is necessary.

riding faster than my brain's ability to think and process "oh fart, there is a steep, negative gradient peppered with sharp, pointy obstacles that could probably really hurt my face/skull/anywhere with a long bone not surrounded by excess feminine body fat" are irrelevant, if speed has already committed me to it. for miles, my entreaties to encourage the lead rider of any 'co-ed peloton a deux' to shoo off and focus on elevating their own pace/heart rate to more than a corpse, falls on deaf ears. apparently concern over my lack of mechanical savvy or inability to remain vertical and not sustain a traumatic head injury are somewhat prophetic. slowing down and thinking (the feminine), tends to result in more crashing (me). of course "trail testosterone" can then make himself useful by picking up the pieces.

i wish i could pee standing up. i have scratched the shit out of my shins trying to find a secluded 'spot to squat' in the woods.


Kat said...

I peed standing up once.

It wasn't pretty.

That's not to say that I wouldn't try it again.

mansuetude said...

Watch out for the poison Ivey. You don't want to know!