the yukky doctor; round 2. the nurse led me to a special "procedure room", where she informed me that the YD was going to perform something that had at least 5 syllables, and ended in "oscopy" (good thing i had just emptied my bladder).
she familiarized me (as a way to alleviate anxiety?) with the assortment of 12 inch metal instruments that would be part of said procedure. it really looked like she was getting ready to assemble kebabs for a BBQ (can i get one with an ovary on it?) all the while calling me "sweetie" (yes, i wanted to slap her for that too).
i was instructed to disrobe and sit on the padded paper (exactly how much fluid was she planning on siphoning?) and informed that i would definitely feel cramps and more than likely bleed. on her way out of the door, to give me pre-stirrup "privacy", she noted the feminine hygiene products ("heavy flow") for my conveniance.
before i could ask about skipping next year's exam (doing double duty in one month should count for something) the YD said she wanted to see me (and my bits) back in 6 months. aging is happening, my uterus will need a zimmer frame to shuffle around on. if the YD starts talking mammograms at the next appointment, i will resign myself to the fact it is time to start shopping for dr scholl's orthopaedic shoes in their only shade of tan.