Thursday, October 18, 2007

conditions are "ripe" for a tornado

bananas, paula radcliffe's socks after the london marathon, and my armpits when i have flown into bahrain from the states are all pretty ripe. today i assumed the same applied to the earth's atmosphere, i appear to have misheard the several hundred overhead warning pages at work- conditions are "right" (incidentally, i had no idea that simply closing the blinds could stop tornadoes). apparently i have not been watching enough of the "we're going to die" channel, or i really do have a problem with minimization. tornadoes, or as technical meteorological lingo calls them; "severe weather" are, in my opinion, like aeroplane crashes and STD's- they happen to "other people". these "other people" are generally living in the trailer parks of middle indiana. my denial has been challenged that while i might escape the tornado, i cant necessarily escape the doublewide coming towards me at 70mph.

i am not versed in the ways (or hysteria) of "severe weather". however, if anyone wants advice on how to put on a gas mask, or tape up their house in preparation for a scud missile attack, i can be of assistance.

4 comments:

mansuetude said...

I am watching the Red Sox but your post got an award for making me Laugh out loud! It is scary in the south sometimes, the hail storm I lived through here once was like a war on my roof, I ended in the bathtub talking to sister in Boston, telling her i loved her...etc... enjoy

linda said...

Tornadoes are nothing compared to Hurricane season. Having lived on the Eastern coast most of my life it just doesn't seem like such a big deal a few little twisters. My perspective is skewed going through two hurricanes.

Kat said...

tornadoes, hurricanes, yes... but how about effin FIRES!?!? I texted my family saying that I was on fire the other day. I was just kidding, but they weren't laughing... oops.

Why can't they develop a really really really big, non-flammable blanket with non-fire powder on it to just drop on the fires? The powder, the buckets of water, the hosing down... none of this works - we already know this. Maybe I just don't understand because I'm accustomed to crouching in the basement away from mirrors and windows during natural disasters.

Of course, for tornadoes, they need to develop REALLY big walls - like fortresses - that can withstand those 70mph winds and just corner the bitch til it winds down.

Come on people, it's 2007.

disa said...

it's crazy that they evacauted del mar! all those rich, swanky homes. maybe its time to move east to arizona, once the big earthquake hits, cali is going to fall off the map anyway.