Thursday, September 6, 2007

coping strategies, by lewis carroll

last week's full moon has left some residual chaos in it's wake. either that, or it's the fact that i work in a residential treatment facility and am supervising a staff that showcases "womens' hormones through the ages". the sensitive 20-something cat owners, the swollen-ankle-not-quite-dilated "hatchers", a menopausal matriarch, and even a chick with more facial hair than pavarotti, all of whom provide a baseline of "harried" and "hysterical" at this non-profit tea party. vocational interval training has alternated between protracted bouts of putting out proverbial fires, and chasing rabbits (and social workers) down holes. all with no pee breaks. relief finally came in the form of a 7 year old asking if i had seen the movie "constipated". ("it hasn't come out yet").

my own professional wonderland does have a strong supporting cast; the caterpillar (currently starring the shift supervisor behind his desk/toadstool) was subjected to the kidnapping of his small plastic hippopotamus (not a euphemism). a ransom note was left demanding a $3 lunch ticket for the safe return of aforementioned hippo. several hours, and a trip to the fax machine, later there was the lunch ticket. the ante was further upped when a miniature ape and elephant were left bound and gagged (in dental floss) with an additional note demanding 30 crisp, and unmarked, agency "bucks". the day culminated in a chase by one clinical specialist (my soon to be office mate) onto the house, by another clinical specialist (that would be me) ending in a pulled groin muscle (mine). i am now looking for a rabbit hole to crawl into.


Melinder said...

The "hatchers" around here are swollen all makes me rethink the the whole "parenthood" thing,..

Jill said...

I'm afraid of that facial hair business. Can you get your whole face waxed for that? It sounds like a fun place to work...except for the pulled groin muscle. That sounds like not fun.

disa said...

the thing is, each time i see this woman, she is hairier. i think she is "cultivating" it, like an adolescent boy who is trying to grow and match up a beard with a 'tache. her's is starting to connect too. ick.

Kat said...

oh - I can't stand "all women, all the time." ewwwww. They turn into complete psychotics! That's why I was never in a sorority... can't stand places densely populated with chicks.

As for facial hair, that nasty, too. But hey, at least she has goals... 'tache-beard. I mean, life is meaningless without purpose - that's all I'm sayin'.