i agreed to play on a flag football team that one of my co-workers is putting together. i have never played football (american, not rest of the world), i do not understand football, i dont even watch the superbowl. it showed.
our group assembled at a local park on saturday morning, where the male/female ratio was (inexplicably) in favour of the ladies. we practiced how to throw (and catch) the ball correctly. during this warm up phase, i did indeed catch the ball. with my face.
once on the field, things did improve. i was issued very concrete 3 step directives "move forward 5 steps, head right and be prepared to catch". i did in fact catch the ball, however, i was so shocked that i'd actually caught it (not to mention feeling all gloaty on the inside) that i neglected to move with ball in hand, and an opponent yanked the flag from my belt.
football does have an entirely new lexical set that i am not familiar with; "rushing", "i-formation", and "other terms i cant remember now". however, a team name is something i can contribute my thoughts and creativity to; considering the excess of biting wit, and universal interest in all things fecal, i am holding out for "the sarcastic sharts". it would make a great t-shirt.
6 comments:
yeah! Let's use that for dodgeball!!
You know...sarcasm does not have a color but a "shart"?....well...I think that speaks for itself. Butt...I love it! My vote will be for the Sarcastic Sharts! (people may be more reluctant to grab our flags!)
hee hee...what can brown do for you???? "mahogany" was a brown d-ball team though, kat....
i still liked the idea (mel) of hissing at the opposition "you have a small penis"...shock and surprise is a good offensive tactic!
That's more difficult than the instructions I got in high school (was it middle school?) the one time I played. Mine were "when we start, you push him". I was like, "That's it? I just push him?" I'm going to say you followed instructions, since they didn't seem to include running with the ball after catching it. :-)
My personal favorite has always been "Dirty Aunt Harry" for the name of a football team, or any team for that matter. Has a nice ring to it, especially if you say it fast...
The last few practices you have been doing very well for a girl and an alien.
Cheerio!
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