Sunday, July 22, 2007
it's all about me (?)
theory versus practice; i fall more comfortably on the side of language over comitting to an action. i have invested significant sums of money in books that teach me how to play football (yeah, yeah, "soccer" to you yanks, those who know me shouldn't need a translation by now), open up my chakras, and run marathons.
in theory, i like the idea of undivided attention. in practice, any group over two people focused in my direction (usually at the exact moment i have a bitten down fingernail up my nose) takes me to my not so happy place. in the last few days i have put myself in situations that invited attention; my 'pseudo bridal status' at the wedding expo expedition had strangers gushing, asking personal questions, and imposing their opinions and tastes, to the aggressive levels of the sales people that chase me around the GAP asking if they can get a changing room "started" for me. an impromptu and heartfelt birthday speech about the wonder that is me, was impossible to listen to, or revel in the details of my fabulousness because i was too busy being mortified that other people were witness to it too.
i admit that i enjoy recognition, positive strokes, and feed off the external validation as much as the next person. but could you maybe send me an email and just cc it to everyone else?