"a cookout and cornhole" was the condensed version of the invitation for the gathering i attended last night. sadly it was not nearly as 'rated for a mature audience' as it sounded. mature is probably the antithesis, in fact.
as is tradition at any gathering in louisville, initial introductions involve a lengthy process to establish how many degrees of separation you are connected to this new stranger by. it turns out (and this will obviously only be of interest and relevance to me, the rest of you really couldnt give a shit) that the hostess's former roomate's son, is now married to my ex's, ex (who is also darth vader's brother's auntie's former physical therapist's pre-school teacher), but his (the ex) sister's husband's nephew was also in attendance. she (ex's ex) did not attend due to family obligations, however, he (ex's ex's husband) and i shared an interesting moment of conversation before we became engrossed in a rather competitive game of cornhole.
1:30am- as the party petered out, the majority (of which i was not one) ruled in favour of walking to a nearby dive bar * to laugh at the locals doing karaoke. as the designated driver i could have exercized my veto power, but truth be known i had hoped conceding to the bar would mean i could get out of driving everyone's ass 45 minutes to boz-fest (live music, drinking, debauchery and camping in a field), out in la grange, ky. that would put this grandma in her pyjamas around 4am; not cool. karaoke in germantown was every bit as blue collar as i expected it to be. tattoos, mullets, missing teeth, engorged and turgid beer bellies (on the men too), and the mandatory '3 pack a day' gravelly soloist belting out leann rhimes.
3:30am- (old navy pyjamas with a scent of "ash tray") the only time i ever see these numbers displayed on my watch are when i am sitting upright in my economy class seat (clutching the arm rests) concentrating on keeping the plane up in the air for 6 hours across the atlantic.
* this is one of the only bars in louisville that plans to ignore the upcoming smoking ban and suck up the fines. i, obviously have no future plans of frequenting this particular establishment in the immediate or remote future.