Friday, June 22, 2007

its my territory and i'll pee all over it if i want to (and other wacky co-workers)

"i need to talk to you" is a phrase that induces the 5 year old "oh no i've disappointed the big people" or "uh oh, mum found the stash of broken doll's house toys under my bed and now im going to be in even BIGGER trouble for not owning up when i first broke the car/rocking chair/bed" feeling somewhere in my upper intestine. it is not a good sign when i feel chronic and situational "indigestion" around a staff person that i supervise.

"i would have pulled rank on you if i had to" (a program supervisor who's self-esteem issues are commensurate in size to that of her obsessive love towards her cat), i am aware that my hair is sometimes blonde, but i dont recall signing up for the military? although it would have made the whole morning 'what-to-wear?' routine so much simpler. the differences between she and i are manifested in how we sublimate our same low sense of self (although i really am the better supervisor). i do not feel the need to linguistically "piss" all over people by constantly using possessive pronouns to refer to "my" staff. however, perhaps i need to throw a leash around my own labrador personality (please, please, please like me) and get a little pit bull when i feel some indigestion coming on.

my solution is to dye my hair grey, bake some wrinkles into my skin, and eat bon bons until a nicely shaped "mom butt" develops. at which point i will start wearing pink floral skirts with elastic waistbands, and perhaps then i will be recognized as an "authority", or mistaken for an elementary school teacher. of course i did run into community based services' art therapist in the clearance section at target. she was buying pyjamas. to wear to work. everyone LOVES her.


total-spender said...

LOL. Funny.

I'm sooo glad that I'm not in a position of authority (and your post reinforces my position on the matter).

Anyway, please refrain from buying pyjamas (and indeed, wearing them in the office....) said...

'marking' your territory maybe acceptable but NOT your co-workers!

kicker of elves said...

Ah Christ, this is what WORK is all about, is it not? Jesus. H. Christ. I'm late again. Figures.