Wednesday, April 25, 2007

"are you australian?"

this is a question i am asked with some frequency. i would have thought that madonna's pseudo anglo affectation had differentiated things for joe public, but apparently their primary source of foreign popular culture is a deceased stocky man in khaki who wrestles crocodiles and exclaims "crikey!"

for the uninitiated, "thunder over louisville" is part of the long and protracted foreplay culminating in the orgasm that is the kentucky derby. other "teasers" include a hot air balloon race, parade down broadway, art fair, and full and half marathon (that'll be me!). "thunder" consists of an airshow that breaks the sound barrier (my car battery almost died the number of times the alarm was set off by these jets), sitting outside eating fried dough and dropping it in your lap as you look up to see a stealth bomber cruise by, drinking BEER, accumulating mardi gras beads from drunk frat boys..."thunder" is also about an impressive display of fireworks from the second street bridge. my mum used to say that thunderstorms were the sounds of god moving furniture around, i have decided that "thunder" sounds like god is making himself a big bowl of popcorn.

i watched the fireworks with a group of friends, however my one rather scatty friend lost his cell phone. the following day i received a call on my cell phone from him. except it wasnt him. it was a very southern drawly good ol' boy named "mitchell". mitchell had been cleaning up the detritus of the previous night and had happened upon the phone and noted mine was the last number on the display, and rather than pocketing the phone or making long distance calls to outer mongolia (or elizabethtown) he decided to reunite phone with owner. we had a very stilted conversation while my ear tried to adjust to his thick accent, and he tried to understand my rather watery one. upon confirming a meeting time and pick up location he paused:

"can ahh ahhhhhhsk ewe a qwehhhschun?"

[silence]

"arrrrr ewe awwstrayhliaaaaahn?"

one of these days i am going to say yes.

3 comments:

Melinder said...

OMG! So you are not?! Wow...I am so sorry....I have been telling everyone that you are!

Anonymous said...

I can confirm that most of this is true that she is not an Ozzie nor is she a brit

kicker of elves said...

I'll make an admission that I've made before but about which I am somewhat embarrassed and which forces me to pause and question the assumptions and identifications that lie behind it: It is incredibly difficult if not impossible for me to take anyone seriously who talks with the "southern drawl" - even those who are ever-so-lightly afflicted with this horror. I just can't. It's a northern/white/educated/wealthy bias, I know, but it is, nonetheless, real insofar as it heavily influences my perception of these poor bastards.