Monday, August 31, 2009

registering for guests

making the cut to "the guest list" for a wedding is probably not quite as harrowing for the cutt-er, as voting off the chunky sorority cutt-ee on 'the biggest loser'. however, it might be easier to choose who will be one of the lucky recipients of grilled chicken, pasta salad, and an open bar, if you had one of those wedding registry 'point and shoot' gift guns to aim at the address book.

things to consider:

"they invited me, we no longer hang, should i still invite them?" it sort of depends if they have an opportunity to find out that you are actually having a wedding-- between tending their facebook farms, sending karma, and testing general knowledge about british punk circa. february 9th through february 12th, 1987.

"i haven't seen them in years, this would be a nice excuse to catch up." of course then you are left with the burden ("you" are chronically co-dependent) of agonizing over who to sit your middle school teacher from saudi with during dinner-- because "you" are also unable to facilitate introductions while cutting cakes/dancing romantically to louis armstrong/draping hands across each other and the bridal bouquet for a nice, sepia toned close up.

"i'll invite them because i know they wont come, but at least they will feel included". like trying to parallel park a pt cruiser rent-a-car, your judgement is nearly always off.

"do i have to invite them just because we're related? it's been years since we dressed up and ran around pretending to be carebears". this is only typically an issue when the more senior- and matriarchal- members of the family are offering "suggestions".

"how can i cherry pick co-workers and groups of friends and get away without causing any weirdness?" the answer to this is infinitely more valuable than a pain-free remedy for ingrown toenails, and unfortunately just as improbable.

"which exes can we (both) get away with inviting?" generally the ones who are now happily married and have put on 20lbs of complacency. note: "yours" has to be less attractive than "mine".

"what about the person who has already assumed that they are being invited?" find out what their food issues are and email a copy of the menu; crusted, basted, drizzled, and flambeed in that particular ingredient.

i have also learned that picking a playlist for a wedding reception doesn't necessarily mean it should meet the same criteria as the one for "good on long runs".


mansuetude said...

ya know, i don'tknow what is out there== but this would make a nice little book !!!

Disa said...

oh, there is sososososososososo much more coming on this subject.

mansuetude said...

think :little book of info/humor:

a realeasyfunny "gift" to give the newly engaged friend... lol. Good luck.

SA Expats said...

The guest list is the most difficult. I shudder by just thinking about it.