Monday, July 13, 2009

growing pains



navigating 'the puppy years' feels an awful lot like graduate school; only 6 months in, and the prospect of another year and a half feels an insurmountable task. at 7 months, weighing in at approximately 15 bags of charcoal (or 3 days worth of turd collection), axel roams around the house like pac man; chomping on light bulbs, coat hangers and, to date, two cell phones. this is compounded by a tail that could be used in drive-thru car wash's-- strong enough to get three day old bird poo off the windscreen.

and while laundry duties are rumoured to multiply as children are added into the equation, i am finding that doggie mucous leaves enough reflective stripping on my clothing that i could easily lie down in the middle of a road and feel confident that the overnight fed ex truck would leave all of my internal organs intact.

i have also been under a misapprehension that my abandonment issues were more entrenched than fox news' credo that they represent "fair and balanced" coverage- snickering about podium diving tele-prompters is obviously super professional and journalistically unbiased. however, axel appears to be wholly unable to tolerate even a brief trip to the loo, without committing feng shui homicide all over the living room.

and the last remnants of "he's just a labrador puppy/hyperactive dead weight growing in his adult teeth" rose tinted schmutz are quickly dispelled when taking rielly for a walk; people come bounding over to pet her while she leaves a pee puddle at their feet, versus axel where, oncoming pedestrian traffic moves rapidly into the road, apparently preferring to take their chances with distracted housewives commandeering SUV's the size of a bouncy castle.

i look forward to axel's eventual- hopeful- maturation more than anticipating the 'apres asparagus pee'. and as he appears to be impervious to batteries, glass, chocolate, cellophane and a 3 lb bag of yukon gold, we discovered he is also (unfortunately) flame retardent.

4 comments:

mansuetude said...

flame retardant!!!!

***** FIVE STAR post.

you could have had triplets, it might have been easier.

Disa said...

it was all worth it when he flopped onto the bed around 6am this morning, put his soft furry head on my shoulder and started breathing into my ear.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Well he's CUTE at least! :-) I hope he gives you a break soon.

Disa said...

either that, or im getting used to him..