Saturday, April 4, 2009


forget pricey trips to india for the purpose of fine tuning your downward facing dog with a leathery octogenarian wrapped in charmin. rather than investing $88 in registration plus flights, hotel and new shoes to shuffle arm pit to arm pit for 26 miles around new york city at 5am, there is a new and better way to shed those unwanted layers of bruschetta, triple chocolate organic cookie dough, and family sized bottles of moscato, that are gripping in barnacles of cellulite to your upper thighs.

the "puppy plan" has an extensive menu to cover all vegan-kosher-lactose-gluten-picky-eater tastes. the 18-24 month regimen includes as many AA batteries, fridge magnets, egg shells, banana peels, and electric toothbrush points, as you want. it is also supplemented with a high-impact workout commencing promptly at 8am and 5:30pm, daily. it incorporates cardio (leaping off the ottoman onto other domesticated animals), pilates (stretching into the kitchen sink to lick the cereal bowl), and co-ordination and balance (rug surfing down two flights of stairs into the recycling).

side effects include flourescent coloured shits and some seriously pissed off housemates.


Sicker Eve Folk said...

Ok, so this has become the DogBlogue - no? Is there something I shouldn't ask?

Disa said...

i know, i know. i actually have something bodily function-ey on the stove at the mo, but couldnt get pics to upload. i'm not trying to rip off that bloody book/movie, but he is so cute (to me), and annoying (to everyone).

not sure what youre asking not to ask?????

mansuetude said...

cardio (leaping off the ottoman onto other domesticated animals)-- got my laughter! i needed that laughter... ok send me a bill.

He is gonna get big, look at him, what you feeding that dog?

any signs of spring... we drop 20 degrees today, its getting frosty out! Sort of . :)

Disa said...

oh god, EVERYWHERE i go people keep telling me how big he is/how much bigger he's going to get, he is fed the usual puppy food, in addition to a loaf of bread once a month that he absconds with off the kitchen counter- counter "nibbles" are now being kept in the microwave as he has not yet figured out how to open that.

no flowers :(

Jawz3 said...

Most of the snaps of Axel seem to show him $#agged out.. so whatever youre doing is working well

Jawz3 said...

so Dog 'b'log