Monday, October 6, 2008

oh shit, i really am becoming my mother

"don't leave your towel on the bed or hanging in a heap, it won't dry and then it starts to smell all mildewy". my mum used to tell me that she knew me better than i knew myself because i was just like her. a 14 year old likes hearing this, as much as the phrases "puberty" and "blossoming into a young woman".

like mother, like progeny; i have devolved into the hypercritical laundry nazi- "were you out sick during the kindergarten class on sorting colours?" [from another room]: "are you sitting on the brand new couch in your sweaty/smelly/dusty/caulky/wood chippy clothes?" . "don't use one of the nice towels to wipe up the dog puke/wood stain/funk behind the dishwasher". "i don't know what i pressed, but now i can't get out of the menu, i hate these bloody remote controls, i can never work them. i AM pressing the TV button, and it's NOT doing anything, i DON'T know, it's frozen on the dish network menu thingy!! here; YOU do it. it was easier with just 5 channels, why do you need 300 channels anyway?". "you're not going to eat that without a plate/napkin, are you?". "this place is turning into a shoe shop, HOW many pairs of shoes do you need out at one time?". "don't just leave a drop of milk in the carton and then put it back in the fridge, that's not enough for cereal or tea. why don't you just finish it and chuck it out instead of leaving it for me to throw out?". "i just spent 3 hours cleaning, i am not the bloody maid service, just take your shoes off before you walk across the floor". "you're snoring, why don't you just go to bed, it's silly to take a nap before you go to bed". "OY! can you either refill the toilet paper when you're finished or bring me a new roll right now, unless you want me to waddle across the bathroom with my knickers round my ankles dripping butt juice on the floor- and try to remember to put it on so the sheets come from over, like a waterfall, and not under". "i wouldn't have to nag if you just did what you're supposed to".

and now the circle is complete, having found my father/dentist/person to nag, in perpetuity.

i am holding out on the whole ironing thing. i will never come to the mindset that tea towels, bedding and pyjamas need to be wrinkle free.


mansuetude said...

ahhh... i was eating lunch here until the butt juice partt... thanks for keeping me on a diet!! Your mom sounds wonderful coming out of your mouth. Lucky

Disa said...

youre back!! were you "fasting"? good to see you again :)

Anne said...

Just wait until you have offspring, it gets even better:)

JAWZ3 said...

This is all a crock of you know what..
Her devoted and loving father

Ruri said...

You see.. your mother is always right
Love you miss you
your mum

Ruri said...

Yes your mum is always right
Your ever patient & loving mother.
PS miss U2