Sunday, March 16, 2008

on finding my sole mate


it is hard to find another person who will be patient; not rush you before you are ready, but also not take things too slowly. it is a special someone who understands exactly, when you say "oh, my god, i need to find a bathroom NOW, or else my sphincter is going to expel the clif bar i ate 45 minutes ago."

i have run with people that i want to push into a nearby ditch; once i catch up with their wannabe kenyan pace. i have also run with those individuals who take their "walk breaks" very seriously (and often). and finally, the inconsiderates who ask a question; "so....where exactly is it you are from?...how did you decide to get into art therapy?...what exactly happened on the last episode of lost, because i missed it?" right as you hit the 579 degree angle that is "dog hill".

running in races tends to provide an armpit's eye view of other peoples' sweaty regions. however, the reality is that you are really not running with these cess pools of perspiration. running en masse is more like speed dating for the comittment-phobe. where "everyone else" is a mere moving target on the course, picked out with the sole purpose to distract and pass another mile while you question the sanity of the slightly overweight, middle aged guy wearing sweat soaked, blue cotton shorts, that are now being eaten by his bumhole.

training "sole" mates have come and gone (to asheville), and it is difficult to find like footed individuals. fortunately i can be monogomous again.

7 comments:

mansuetude said...

"being eaten by his bumhole" is too funny... i was racing along in the reading and had to pull over and laugh!!!

i am still on the side holding my gut! :
Disa, you are art therapy! You should teach art therapy writing!!!!

your friend looks like you, or your sister. mirrors.

Disa said...

we are repeatedly confused for each other at work (until we open our mouth's and the accents come out). at a race last year, a stranger walked up to us and asked if we were sisters (i dont know that i've ever felt the need, in a public place, to confirm 2 random people were related to each other). however, we both take it as a compliment.

Not Goth said...

"being eaten by his bumhole" cracked me up again (no pun intended)

I thought you might be sisters too.. but at least I was polite enough not to ask.

Kat said...

ha ha!!! Great one... I can't wait for June 1 to be over... but wait, it's all about the journey, right? oy veh...

I say we turn the marathon into a full-on contact sport. You in?

Disa said...

as long as full contact doesnt involve emergency services and defibrillators. at least we will have cute socks.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Glad you found a running buddy (or as I heard someone mis-say at a party recently, a "running bunny"). And one you work with too - how convenient is that?!?!?

ruth said...

great post - disa, you've got skills.