Sunday, December 2, 2007

cause and effect

learning outcomes ideally begins in childhood, where natural consequences are opportunities to think about the should's and should nots. a great teaching tool is to practice if/then scenarios.

~if you* board any aeroplane, anywhere in the world, then you will always be seated next to the person with a screaming infant. this parent will also be unfamiliar with antiperspirant products, or 'head and shoulders'.

~if you dont shave your legs for 3 days, and wear your holiest, tattiest knickers, you are guaranteed some action past second base.

~if you don't wash your car for several months, then farmers will begin blaming you for their dessicated crops.

~if you eat cheese before you go to bed, then you will have nightmares (according to some mothers).

~if you change a little boy's wet nappie, then he will still have some residual pee left over to spray you in the face with.

~if you hide behind the winter coats at target to silent fart, then every salesperson in the building will make a beeline to ask if you "need assistance".



*the choice of the pronoun "you", versus "i" was very deliberate and intentional.

7 comments:

mansuetude said...

Big laugh.

Anne said...

I am that parent!

Corey said...

if you poop your pants...then everyone will laugh and make fun of you...and you will stink

disa said...

if your office mate continues to irritate the snot out of you by using all your tissues/throwing all their rubbish in your bin until it overflows (instead of their own) then...you will have beanie babies left all over your desk, or dirty nappies left on your keyboard (corey!)

Kat said...

If you* rent a room from and share a house with a 70-year old female, she will freely and openly disclose any and all sexual and kinky information regarding her relationship with a male octogenarian. and that, in effect, will make you purge yourself.

disa said...

kat- if you leave any more comments like that, giving me wrinkly, varicose vein visuals, then i might have to "break up" with you.

Jill said...

Too funny!!!!!!!! I can definitely vouch for the boy pee one...