Friday, July 13, 2007

leaving on a jet plane

i was recently asked what is permanent in life; "personality disorders". those bastards aren't ever changing; "no way! no how, not me, i'm fine, youre the one with the problem". aside from that, everything else is temporary. (cognitive distortion #1)

in the great airport lounge that i will call my life (up until now), (oh yes, its going to be one of THOSE narcissistic essays) it is easier to stay or "be" somewhere or with someone when there is a valid boarding pass with assigned seating tucked inside the back pocket. waiting to leave can make staying more enjoyable, where "goodbye" associated anxiety is much easier to tolerate- not that my cuticles are anything to go by.

many years ago i struggled to like an ex boyfriend's mother, she was loud and in the habit of picking her teeth after the meal at the kinds of restaurants where waiters come by and comb the crumbs/adjust your napkin for you. i panicked at the potential intrusions i envisaged on future domestic bliss, grandchildren, or any social gathering involving corn. of course once i broke up with him, i relaxed and liked her. we went hiking, to the movies...essentially i broke up with him so i could start dating his mother.

i really hate flying.

1 comment:

JAWZ 3 said...

"change .. the only permanent thing" [Fedorowicz 2007]