Sunday, July 8, 2007

i'm too spandexy for my skirt

today i went on a girly day trip to london; not for shopping, to see the queen, or wade through a sea of tourists hoping to spot madonna/prince william/posh spice. this trip was to london, kentucky. very different. no terrorist bombings, smog, or people with accents that make your ears bleed...well, maybe.

assigned trail names for the day were: "stalker" (me) and "invader" (melind-errrr). the mission: complete the 20 miles of bike trail without dislocating any limbs, or losing a tooth (still no health insurance until august 1st).

overall, we were successful in our endeavours; speeds were fast enough to actually splatter bugs into both sunglasses and handlebar shifters. there was a bad PTSD flashback upon riding towards my former nemesis, the 4 ft wide bridge that i had previously rode off and into the dry creek bed below. the trail did comprise some fun, rolling single track where the ascents were punctuated by voluble grunting and moaning to rival monica seles. similarly, the descents were accompanied by tourettic monologues of; "oh-shit-oh-shit-oh-my-god-oh-god-oh-SHIIIIIT!" and switchbacks had their own distinctive soundtrack that rivalled a cheap porno; "ooooh! ooh! OOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

upon completion of the ride we drove back through lexington, playing the dirty word license plate game, and stopped at an eatery to replace our electrolytes with salty margaritas, chips, salsa and noxiously garlicky guacamole. it was at this point i realized i hadn't needed to pee for 10 hours. let's just say it looked like i had thrown my gatorade down the toilet.

(pictures to come)


total-spender said...

"let's just say it looked like i had thrown my gatorade down the toilet.

(pictures to come)"

The 'pictures to come' comment is worryingly close to your description of the 'toilet' incident. I hope this is just a coincidence !

disa said...

fortunately melind-errrr did not take a photo of my luminous yellow pee. we have some fabulous pics of us striking silly poses on the trail and our half drunk drinks at the bar afterwards.

Anonymous said...


maggie said...

After a ride like that my pee is brown and that is like two days later.
I'm sure you all went through the 5 personality changes that I went through last year...right??!! so fun. I can't wait to ride w/ ya soon.

Melinder said...

ALL systems are a GO now...most faculties have returned by my right thumb is still pretty Nintendo, I guess.