Sunday, July 29, 2007

allergies

wheat, chocolate, sugar, nuts, strawberries, onions, lactose; all of the things that modulate a person's affect. i'm glad i'm not one of the people who are allergic to the aforementioned nouns.

bees, latex, codeine. (not me, again).

"informal allergies" that induce levels of anxiety and/or panic-avoidance include; certain co-workers, ironing, and cleaning the toilet. while a person may not die from contact with these, others may die due to associated frustration.

sore throats and stuffy noses indicate a cold. "but it's my allergies" [intense whining]. dirty oxygen and plants? unless you are swelling up to the size of an SUV, and emergency services are on their way due to anaphylaxis, trust me, it doesn't count. if youre not packing an epi pen, or sporting a chunky medic-alert bracelet or necklace you don't really mean it. i wear a dorky bracelet, i will DIE if have penicillin. that's an allergy.

5 comments:

Melinder said...

My onion/ walnut allergy is odd...misplaced and I detest it. I think I would like onions if I thought they would not kill me. They don't make a bracelet for that though....

total-spender said...

Cleaning generally may be more appropriate methinks.

And anyway, I'm a bloke and we don't clean the toilet. EVER.

disa said...

yeah, no shit. but you lot do a damn good job of getting it all crustied up.

Jill said...

I dunno...some of those allergies to housework can be quite severe...

Kidding! Though on some of the less severe allergies, they might be killing the person but just more slowly. Maybe that a person could live with for a good, long time but not quite as well (as long?) as they could live without them.

I have heard some really ridiculous allergy requests though a la: "Since you asked what to bring, I'm allergic to poultry, fish, dairy, egg whites, fruit and fruit by-products, most grains and vegetables. Since I don't eat red meat, hard boiled egg yolks or lentils would be fine."

disa said...

and that is when you serve those particularly annoying individuals a big platter of dust bunnies, either that or you 'break up' with them and get some lower maintenance friends.