there is nothing like the anxiety created by 10-12 humans firing questions at you in rapid succession. my group interview resembled a cluedo cast of characters; "professor plum" complete with cheesy jokes and bad puns; "miss scarlett", young, cute and vibrant before burnout increases her bum size and demotivates her from make up and dry cleaned suits every day; the maternal "mrs peacock", smiling reassuringly while asking easy questions. thankfully there were no candlesticks, or even a rope to hang myself with.
the feng shui was "drill & grill"; tables were configured in a "U" shape and i foolishly joked/asked where the chair in the centre was. one of the ID badge wearing head honchos from corporate office obliged and created a hotseat. the predictable result of my chronic problem of opening my mouth and not locating the "for god's sake, shut up!" valve.
interviewer # 7: "why do you want to come and work with us rather than go back to your old company?"
me: [deer in headlights, shit, the truth? or the interview response?] "my former place of employ was the "wal-mart of mental health", and i am ready for something smaller where i can be more focused on a higher level of quality client care" (titter, titter). they asked what their agency would be, we debated this like old friends for a while and surmised target.
interviewer # 3: "where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
me: "lying on a beach in the bahamas".
interviewer # 5: "what are your weaknesses?"
me: "books and chocolate".
interviewer # 7: "how do you handle conflict?"
me: "i had a co-worker who must have been breast fed until he was 10, and was really perfecting the art of learned helplessness. after addressing it with him and seeing no changes i spoke with my supervisor".
smartass points: 8/10
foreign appeal & intellectual sounding accent: 9/10 (the director was a transplanted scot)
probability of securing this job: hmmmm?