Monday, March 26, 2007

fart by friday

farts; my pet subject, as with all things scatalogical. boys (well, my brother) fart at the drop of a...lower small intestine, girls appear to have a harder time with it all, it's just not ladylike.

as a female, there is something terribly "free-ing" about farting in front of another human who you do not share the same last name with. it usually happens by accident, intentional flatulence, at least that "first time" tends to be somewhat embaressing. i made a concsious decision to get my first time out of the way, granted it took a significant period of sharing the same sleeping quarters in order to make this happen. farts cannot be micromanaged, insofar as you have no control over volume, scent or duration. my "first time" reverberated and echoed a la grand canyon. i was mortified, but also keen to see the reaction of my pillow mate. unfortunately my grand plan backfired, yes there was a shocked expression, but it was accented with a hint of knowing smug in response to my embaressment; i was swiftly dutch ovened in my own creation.

my challenge to the ladies (melinderrr) is to fart in front of your special loved one by friday. it is time to take your relationship to the next level.


kicker of elves said...

this is actually, I believe, to have been the brickwork which makes the immediate and necessary foundation of any and all meaningful relationships (see your reference to the family) - it's remarkably important and real in such an obvious and blatant sense as to make discussion of it embarrassing and, insofar as most would view it as such, horrible. Which, is, of course what a great deal of IT, in the "big" sense, is all about - smelling ass.

Dutch Ovens are perhaps some of the funniest and most ridiculous displays of the arbitrary nature of power (I apologize for behaving this way even in the face of something as trivial as dropping ass) to happen in the entirety of the worlds activity. Really.

Also, sorry about the ass.

saltandsaffron said...

once one a date someone heard me break wind thru the thin doors of the washroom, i was mortified and "suddenly remembered" that i needed to pick up medicine for "terminally ill woman who lived next door"

never saw the guy ever again or returned his 15 calls.


Melinderr said...

NO! BC is in I think I am off the hook....I wanted me I did...but I could not the other night...The guy has now known me for well over a year and as far as he knows...I do not do such things!

bc said...

what about that blonde haried mountain biker in louisville, ky? do you fart around him a lot?