Thursday, February 22, 2007


there was some potential for some pretty strong flashbacks to sports class at school, but thankfully by the end of the night i wasn't curled up in the corner of the gym hugging my knees and rocking vigorously. i just signed myself up for 8 weeks of co-ed dodgeball. i have never played in my life (watching the movie didn't give me any kind of edge last night) and it showed. fortunately there was no standing waiting to (not) be picked last. this team needed a girl, and, well, i met the criteria.

we have a team colour; brown, a name; "the smell of rich mahogany" (a reference to "anchorman") and apparently some kind of shout thing they do at the beginning, except i must have missed it because i was to busy watching the game on the other side of the gym and thinking "holy *&@$, that's a really powerful throw and it's only a matter of time until i get smacked in the face, and boy is that going to hurt like a mother chucker."

earlier in the week when "TSORM" sent out their email to get us all introduced and rah-rah-ed up for our first game, i responded with a lie or some kind of wish fulfilment (or at least pretended to look like i knew something about dodgeball) by telling them i knew the key tactic was to aim at the other team's feet and i would obviously be TSORM's secret weaopn because i was so short and therefore had an advantage.

things i have learned about myself: i am very good at dodgeing (apparently avoidance is in my nature and entrenched in my personality- ask any family, friend or boyfriend and they will confirm this). i spent most of the game clung to the back wall like a little cleaner fish to a shark. the only problem with this technique is that you usually get left til last and then its just everyone watching you running around as the last man standing, at which point you almost want to throw yourself in front of the ball to get "out". i did catch the ball (a girl threw it) once, so i think i redeemed myself to my teamates. i didn't do a whole lot of throwing as i have discovered that i really throw like a girl; whose bicep has atrophied. the nice thing was everyone was so encouraging and positive and hand slappy that i came out thinking "i can DO this!" i am looking forward to next weeks game. i will be strategizing and tactic-izing about ways to pry myself off the back wall and maybe try a little blocking.

on a final note, driving home from my game i was getting off the ramp onto the interstate and found myself pulling up ALONGSIDE a greyhound bus! however the driver appeared to want to engage in a game of "chicken" and totally cut me off (bastard!). now i know why i only ever see them going in the opposite direction on the OTHER side of the road.

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