me! me! pick me!

dearest, and most skinny and svelte looking in your dry clean only ann taylor scrubs, admissions committee for the accelerated bachelor's of science in nursing, program;

please consider this, my run-on sentence letter of intent and personal discourse on the many, many qualities that i bring to the pool of teachers, firemen, computer geeks, and med school drop out applicants-- least of which is the "D" i got in GCSE biology, although that was the british curriculum, and you have no idea what it means, so please disregard that statement, but do note that i chose the human science over nerdy physics or 'too many acronyms to learn in the periodic table chemistry' options. and, if it comes down to me and a perimenopausal dance instructor from bangor, then it would behoove you to remember that a truly diverse cohort would include an african-american-blue-eyed-blonde-alien, who has lived in 7 countries (many, third world) before turning 16, who has a british accent- and not one of those unintelligible david beckham varieties, but something with a bit of class and polish.

while i have accumulated a pick 'n mix selection of degrees and certificates (i could teach aerobics; to children; with mental health issues; that do not speak english; waxing poetic about the abstract expressionist movement; while scuba diving), my desire to change careers (once again), in third-life, is brought on by fruitless efforts to obtain any form of employment that pays the equivalent of our equal opportunity friends who greet bargain seekers at wal-mart. unfortunately, my parents were the type who left it up to me to find something that "made me happy", and did not feel the need to coerce and threaten me into a career as a brain surgeon or barrister-- unlike my now, gainfully employed peers (with pushy parents). ideally, i would like to make my living by writing the next new york times bestseller, however, this also falls under the "do what makes you happy/feel fulfilled/unable to contribute to your 401k every month" category, and as evidenced by the teeny-tiny readership on my blog, i'm more likely to join oprah's book club than to feature in it.

in addition to being prepared for the grueling, 13 month, lecture/quiz/clinicals schedule (i trained for a marathon you know), i would like to assure you that i am also extremely comfortable with bodily functions-- faeces and flatulence being a particular area of interest-- where references (from the lunchtable and other random co-workers) to support this, are available upon request. i am also chronically co-dependent, an obvious pre-requisite to bum wiping and catheter insertion, and there are several ex-boyfriends who would be more than happy for me to type a letter for them confirming this.

finally, i am excited at the prospect of wearing scrubs every day, although i must confess to being a little wary about turning into "puffy and matronly nurse", however, i would also like to assure you, dear 'still winsome and willow committee', that my long term career goal is not to become "giggling, vacuous airhead nurse looking for a daddy figure doctor to have an affair with".

i already have one.


sincerely,

the 1-out-of-300-for-30-spots-that-you-choose.