owning a dining room table will not improve your scrabble game, culinary skills or ability to get a date

not unlike the treadmills that become overpriced clothes hangers, a dining room table is typically the repository for boring, and therefore unopened mail, keys, purses, and assorted drinks glasses to leave water mark crop circles on.



over the course of the last few months, having been repeatedly informed that i was about to achieve the pinnacle of womanly self-actualization simply by virtue of wearing an overpriced white dress for four hours, how disappointing it was to learn that furniture trumps tafetta.