growing pains

navigating 'the puppy years' feels an awful lot like graduate school; only 6 months in, and the prospect of another year and a half feels an insurmountable task. at 7 months, weighing in at approximately 15 bags of charcoal (or 3 days worth of turd collection), axel roams around the house like pac man; chomping on light bulbs, coat hangers and, to date, two cell phones. this is compounded by a tail that could be used in drive-thru car wash's-- strong enough to get three day old bird poo off the windscreen.

and while laundry duties are rumoured to multiply as children are added into the equation, i am finding that doggie mucous leaves enough reflective stripping on my clothing that i could easily lie down in the middle of a road and feel confident that the overnight fed ex truck would leave all of my internal organs intact.

i have also been under a misapprehension that my abandonment issues were more entrenched than fox news' credo that they represent "fair and balanced" coverage- snickering about podium diving tele-prompters is obviously super professional and journalistically unbiased. however, axel appears to be wholly unable to tolerate even a brief trip to the loo, without committing feng shui homicide all over the living room.

and the last remnants of "he's just a labrador puppy/hyperactive dead weight growing in his adult teeth" rose tinted schmutz are quickly dispelled when taking rielly for a walk; people come bounding over to pet her while she leaves a pee puddle at their feet, versus axel where, oncoming pedestrian traffic moves rapidly into the road, apparently preferring to take their chances with distracted housewives commandeering SUV's the size of a bouncy castle.

i look forward to axel's eventual- hopeful- maturation more than anticipating the 'apres asparagus pee'. and as he appears to be impervious to batteries, glass, chocolate, cellophane and a 3 lb bag of yukon gold, we discovered he is also (unfortunately) flame retardent.