what can brown do for you, when there's anal bleaching available?

if you are trying to find that special something for the person in your life who owns 90% of skymall's merchandise, then a gift certificate to a salon offering anal bleaching, is the perfect way to express your love and unconditional commitment.

for those cave dwelling troglodytes that are a little self conscious because their sphincter falls on the higher cocoa content shade of brown, relief is available for a mere $75, and just 10 minutes out of a hectic schedule. busy jet setters, can even take care of bothersome brown bum holes while transiting the duty-free at schipol airport.

however, maintaining a whiter than white sphincter requires return trips to the salon for touch ups- fortunately, unlike bleaching your hair, there are no tell-tale dark roots to out you as anything less than a "natural". of course, if your pay cheques are not issued by 'red light movies', and an albino anus isn't mandated in the contract, then less expensive solutions are within reach for anyone on a tight budget.