Monday, August 4, 2008

circle of insanity

i learned a new dance today. fortunately, the choreography isn't too complicated.

to remedy an ice-cream brain freeze; press your thumb onto the roof of your mouth. to divert from the inter-oral pressure, you then stub your right toe. to distract from the metatarsal "ow-ies", flick your ear. to ignore that pain, give yourself a papercut between your thumb and forefinger.

pretty soon you've forgotten about your headache and are ready for another scoop of pralines and cream.

(and look like you just had a handful of electrically charged thumb tacks dumped down your shorts).


mansuetude said...

the thumb tacks sound metalic cool--it is so hot and nasty today. My brain is in a heat freeze. Maybe your post touches on the reasons some girls cut themselves. I have seen it in college a few times and never understood. They needed thumb tacks to sit on. Does it help with cramps and pms? :)

Disa said...

sounds like a good advertizing campaign for tampax; some paperclips, a lighter, a fresh ream of 8 and a half by 11 paper...will distract from any and all chocolate cravings.

mansuetude said...

ohh. i have heard women (at certain times of the month) will sit in burning houses eating bon bons. It singes the brain-hairs to think of it. :)