pollen allergies have a designated season. it would appear that the residential house i supervise is also on a bi-annual (fungal) schedule; we have ringworm-- again. at the time of typing i have not exhibited any of the symptoms, but this is probably because i have been more pre-occupied with harvesting the deep craters left by some ticks after a mountain bike ride a few weeks ago.
as we are all on ringworm hyper-alert, there is much ruling out of other afflictions, such as pinworm. for those of you not yet in possession of children- or cant remember being one with a persistently itchy bottom- pinworms are quite the fascinating little blighters, as long as they are not taking up residence in your colon. they begin their brief, but unremitting, life cycle in the intestines- which serves as the honeymoon suite for copulating pinworms. coitus, apparently proves all too much for the male, who promptly kicks the bucket, while his expectant paramour heads south to nestle in the grooves of your sphincter and deposit around 20,000 eggs for you to host for a mere 45 days. upon maturation, the post-adolescent critters come out for a spot of "fresh air", however this only occurs at night, as even pinworms are subject to circadian rhythms.
fortunately, the diagnosis is simple and does not require any overpriced merchandise from walgreens.
torch (low wattage is sufficient)
sello-tape (3M has better adhesive, although you can go with whatever's on sale as long as it's not double sided)
~ after the sun has gone down, remove your knickers- relatively easy, as most of us with good hygiene practices, or some semblance of a love life, are familiar with this ritual.
~ shine a light at your bum hole and apply a piece of tape to the area- sadly, more people than you would think are all too familiar with this ritual, more than the aforementioned one.
~ remove the tape- fast or slow, depending on your personal preference (remember to check for haemherroids beforehand so as to avoid unecessary mess), and any pinworm egg larvae will be affixed to the tape for your viewing pleasure.
~ now you can call your doctor with complete authority, and confidently request an appointment to "show and tell" your harvest while procuring a prescription for a bottle of overpriced medication.
here's the good news for the antibacterial hand sanitizing brigade: pinworm is transmitted by and through; nailbiting, handshaking, door knobs, toilet seats, phone receivers, keyboards, kitchen counters, desk surfaces, supermarket trolley handles, bedding, towels, clothing, toilets, glasses, bathroom fixtures, toys, sand boxes and food. what a relief to know that pinworm doesn't cause any damage to the body-- aside from chronic sleeplessness associated with nocturnal anal itching.