Sunday, July 20, 2008

and they lived happily ever after...taking the piss



the second wave of weddings for us 30-something-comittment-phobe-procrastinators-worried-about-gynecological-dessication is ready to come crashing down onto the shore of holy matrimony in '08/'09. make sure you heed your mother's advice and don't eat too much cake, hit the water half an hour early, and wind up with stomach cramps. weddings are the industry du jour; every grown up little girl's moment in the spotlight. so why not cross off old/borrowed/blue and head to michael's instead of david's (bridal) and DIY yourself a little tie dye ensemble?



should a bride decide to go for the kind of theme that has a "TM" on it, then the options are limitless. lady and the tramp suggests you incorporate helium balloon dog paws into your centrepieces, bouquet and doorway decor.



i was desperate for an invitation to an acquaintance's friend's alice in wonderland wedding (before the simpson/wentz pseudo-celebs made it uber trendy and cool)- there are a couple of candidates in my circle who would vie for the role of 'caterpillar high on herb'. of course a series of characters to match the wedding party's personalities might not go amiss- perhaps a conveniant way to identify the seating plan with the seven dwarfs...



or grumpy, sleepy and funshine bears...



completed with bride and groom cake toppers, using roger hargreaves' inspiring little miss (scatterbrain) and mr men (mr messy) for the hard core anglophiles...





for the post-modernists who are seeking something more contemporary...



or the "recovering" lot who have pointed to their elephant in the living room and given it a giant tongue kiss...



whatever category of "ism" they might fall under...



while i take the whole vow/til death us do part thing seriously, i would have to say a take the piss theme is probably more my style. obviously something scatalogical would be a bit low-brow (and predictable). instead; the kind of chocolate tiered tower to put any woman with PMS (or even menopausal sans ovaries) into sugar shock at first sight. with that said, a heart shaped cake, split into pieces by an axe (several axes even), and a little plastic figurine (i would even concede to a precious moments stylized "me"), in a pair of dri-fit running shorts and supported arch athletic shoes-- leaping off the cake towards the nearest airport departure terminal. of course "excess baggage" (the matching kind when you're in your 30's), might be more appropo.

3 comments:

JAWZ3 said...

The two blonde tie and dye(s) look conspicuously 'different'

Not Goth said...

the way i see it - ceremony should be serious.. everything else is fair game.

As much as some of these things make me cringe with their terrible taste I give kudos to anyone who thinks outside of the box and injects some of their (often weird) personality into the wedding..

mansuetude said...

i couldn't eat a cake made to look like luggage--i'd prefer an old sneaker. :)