Thursday, February 28, 2008

seek, and someone else will find (for you)

matchmaking; it's like playing god, cupid or joan rivers.

i have had one "success story" involving a hike, roller coasters and two people with a likeminded appreciation of bodily functions. however, i think i may have just scored another one via text, for a girlfriend 3 time zones away. see below for an example of my sales "technique."

"displaced seattle liberal, about to invest in her first mountain bike, working on a master's in social work, and is subsequently looking for a new project (or person) to take care of. allergic to wheat and cats".

"tall, athletic, low maintenance, outdoorsy female; she will never expect you to buy her a coach purse or tampons".

"tall, leggy blonde who runs. just purchased a high end mountain bike, another one with a master's degree in social work (yeah, yeah, these are the people who will look after you when you've lost sphincter control), skin like porcelain china."

"short, somewhat effeminate, persian refugee. enjoys ballet, opera, and is desperate to be mothered. god awful dress sense, so a great choice for a girl who likes makeover challenges".

of course i can always blame (or thank) my mother for my current status.

2 comments:

mansuetude said...

brilliant title.
did your mom teach you your razorsharp humor?

Jawz3 said...

No her father 'incisive' would be more appropriate OR perhaps cynical?