Friday, October 12, 2007

you mean it won't turn my pee orange?

i have been fighting a UTI this past week. my armament has included a surplus of "over the counter" and "it'll clear up, eventually". this was finally immobilized today, by the omnipotent force of "(surrogate) mother guilt"; matriarchal co-workers shared their horror stories of debilitating kidney infections.

for the third time in 30 days (i average 1 in every 365), i filled out my demographic information on a clip board, for a heavy set woman in flourescent scrubs to look at, butcher my name, and temporarily cut off my arm's circulation in a windowless room.

my entire consultation lasted 2 minutes. i admitted to being a chronic OTC whore (the physician noted his own avoidance of medical professionals), he confirmed my diagnosis; "your urine has a lot of white blood cells", and read my mind; "you just want me to write you some drugs". i asked about the infamous side effects.

"no, this medication won't impress your friends".

nuts, pee that looks like gatorade would have been pretty cool.


Jawz3 said...

dont drink any more Gatorade and lay of the citrus and drink more water
your friendly family physician

Jill said...

Yike! I didn't know about the gatorade possibilities, but I hope it at least gets you cleared up quickly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!