Monday, September 17, 2007

on becoming a bible thumper

in my relentless efforts to locate more things on my skin to pick at, i happened upon a bump at the top of my foot, near the "where i tie my running shoes" crease. delving into that rigourously peer reviewed authority (google/wikipedia) on all things dermal, the diagnosis was narrowed down to a gangleon cyst. according to my PLR (physician's laptop reference), they are more common in females (that would be me), and tend to be prevalent between the ages of 20-60 (me, again). the little blighters are more casually referred to as "bible bumps".

historically, treatment involved whacking them with a heavy book to diffuse the cyst. obviously, back in ye olde days, the poorer folk were an illiterate bunch and had little use for hardback copies of "moby dick", "war and peace" or "star struck; a novel by pamela anderson". however, every household did possess a copy of the big book; handy for reciting scripture, propping doors open, and casting out demonic cysts. perhaps my copy of "harry potter and the deathly hallows" would be sufficient. i am reassured in the knowledge that i have a number of people to call on who would be more than willing to smack me with a heavy object.

fortunately, there is a non-violent/non-surgical treatment option that aligns with the philosophy i routinely ascribe to; "leave it alone and it will eventually go away".

7 comments:

Kat said...

if you need to be thumped, I can find a Bible with which to thump you. First you have to be within arm's distance... so that would be November. By then it will be nice and ripe... ==maniacal laughter==

(I was just reminded of that phrase by Jeff, and I will be using it often now. beware.)

Jawz3 said...

"leave it alone and it will eventually go away".
This is the wisest piece of advice you can receive but you might extend it to 'him/her/them etc'
Jawz3 its not safe to go in the water today

Jill said...

Oh yeah I've heard of that! I hope it does go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

disa said...

kit kat! YOU have a bible???? i guess a koran, torah, book of mormon, rice cooker could work as substitutes. ripe....i seriously hope that involves yellow or white pus to squeeze out and sniff at.

Melinder said...

Well I say we take care of KY style...you take off running in a field and let me pick the thing off with my gun. Try to avoid zig zag movements as I would hate to thump (or shoot) something vital...because I am pretty sure that won't go away on its own!

maggie said...

I heard of someone recently having this. DAmn, i hope i'm not next. anyway the md took his long needle out and sucked it out. or...hand me a bible.

total-spender said...

This post gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'bible basher' ...

Oh, if you run out of things to pick there's always your nose.