Wednesday, August 15, 2007

i am not an earth girl, i'm just lazy

sephora (for those with the capabilities to pee while standing) is the detached entry way (or cut through) of any department store. consumers run the flourescent lit gauntlet, in order to get to shoes/ties/the gap. this is the natural habitat of buffers, brushes, sealers, and exfoliators, all laid out on altars, and tended by undernourished, osteoperotic maidens or overnourished, high LDL matriarchs; one stop shopping for all your chanel/dior/mac/YSL needs. these hallowed walls are the 'no fly zone" of cover girl and maybelline.

i accompanied some friends to the mall in their quest for that "just right" mascara. i personally, was not in need of make-up (i would have been browsing the hangy hook displays at walgreens), but we had just come from the park, and my dress code was casual, dri-fit, and 'wicking'. definitely not enough pancake for this sore thumb.

however, the 1980's did see me methodically trawling the counters at the body shop; rubbing "banana oatmeal raisin passion fruit watermelon explosion" eye cream onto my skin, and painting tribal, lipstick war stripes on the back of my hand. make-up acquisition and application was not a hobby, it was an existence.

today, $10 and 10lb glossy magazines inform and educate readers that mascara, eye shadow and perfume are time sensitive. like milk and meat, they develop clotty chunks and start to smell, a fact i was made aware of when i started to apply mine for a wedding i attended this past weekend. i confessed to the store manager that it had been about 5 years since my last visit to the clinique counter, and asked if she had ever comitted the cardinal sin of going to bed with make-up on. she (discreetly) nodded reassuringly. i tend to use pillow cases for removal purposes, anyway. she outlined the proper procedures prior to the application of moisturizer.

(moisturizer?!)

she smiled and saw the flaming, red "SUCKER!" etched across my forehead. noting my dri-fit, wicking attire she inquired as to whether i use sunscreen when i workout. [......!]

if it is low cost, low labour, and low on amplifying the already dark circles under my eyes i may be converted, and evangelize accordingly. however, my fear is that the expense of such a purchase will require a comittment, that i will be too lazy to use regularly, thus feeling guilty at my sloth-like ways and imprudent spending. rather sounds like a gym membership.

4 comments:

total-spender said...

Jesus! Thank God I'm not a cross-dresser!

Shampoo has it sorted (i.e. 'wash and go'). Isn't there an equivalent for your face (i.e. just splash it on and go) ?

Melinder said...

Um the aging process is not kind and I think it is time that you realize this...start a new habit...moisturize....!

disa said...

i was using daily applications of "denial" to treat my aging process....

Jill said...

Can you get "denial" at Sephora? 'Cause one of my students gave me a Sephora gift certificate at the end of the year!