Friday, March 16, 2007

say cheese!

i am a narcississt. i enjoy looking at pictures of myself, good pictures that is, those i can look at for hours. the not-so-good pictures i can look at and critique for hours, but i'd rather not be confronted with the reality of bad hair/bad skin days, the same approach applies to mirrors. while i enjoy looking at my lovely image, i do not enjoy posing for it. school pictures that involved smiling and saying cheese (my family's version is to smile and say "fellatio!") induced a sharp spike in anxiety, so much so that my first school picture is of me with my next door neighbour/best friend because i would not 'sit and smile'. subsequent school photos are in the 'destroy and burn' category of buck teeth, then braces, glasses and poodlicious permy frizz; in the sibling shot my brother is sporting rather fetching skater mullet. we all bang on about preferring candid shots of 'snorting champagne out of nose while picking it at brother's wedding' rather than the posed boy/girl even height and matching toothy grins. in the past week i have played photographer's assistant, i can stand in one spot to help focus for the main event. i cannot stand and focus if the main event is me, unless i get to stick out my tongue or bend over and put my head between my legs the result is my driving license or passport photos. as much as my ego would appear to demonstrate i was not designed (physically either) to be a static coathanger. here's my plug:

No comments: