money (that's what i want), i want your money

i did my taxes today; for those of you that are in the "poverty income tax bracket", which is under 55K (99.9999% of my friends) you can go to the IRS website and file your taxes for FREE! i have nothing complicated like businesses, children or property/investments; mine is "EZ", and yet i find it as complicated as being told to put an incision in someone's aorta and locate the mitrial valve. i chose to do A' levels (british curriculuum for 16-18 year olds) versus I.B. (international baccalaureate) or the U.S. high school diploma, because it meant that i would not have to take any more maths classes and leave trigonometry as a distant memory. following my "right brain destiny" i chose history of art as my bachelor's degree and art therapy as my master's. unfortunately the GRE and pre-requisites of statistics sent me into a frenzy with my blankie. while i dislike the tendency towards victimhood and excuses, i do suspect that i have a legitimate problem with numbers (it is a diagnosable condition, although i tend towards more of the obsessive-compulsive category), as i have been shown how to do fractions by multiple people, at various points in my brain's development, and i still cannot add, subtract, multiply or divide for all the tea in china- at least not without a lot of crying thrown in.

money has never been a priority or personal goal, obviously i would have chased after the M.D. title of psychiatrist rather than lowly social services professional. how ironic that 2 degrees leaves me earning a pittance in comparison to my client's high school diplomas and hairdresser/pizza parlour manager salaries. however, i have always paid my bills on time and my credit card to zero, aside from a book addiction, i am pretty "cheap". i will not live from pay cheque to pay cheque, i cannot tolerate that anxiety. however, i am 31 years old and i do not have any "investments". i have a savings account and a couple of CD's, while this puts me in better shape than others, i will either have to die young, marry rich, or inherit a gothic french castle from distant, dead relatives (and WHY is it that i do not have those rich relatives that everyone else seems to have stashed away?!). perhaps this is why i have been procuring my "nurturing" and "housewifely/mother" skills, in the hope that i land a prince charming, a la cinderella, and the other piece of the puzzle will be "provided" for. however, life is not all stepford wives, pearls and peach twin sets, there are prince charmings who are just as fiscally oblivious as me; rescuing is just not an option. it is time to head to borders (like i need an excuse) to locate the "money management for dummies", otherwise i will be the blue haired old codger greeting you at wal-mart 34 years from now because my pension will not cover the co-pay for my bi-focals.