the bag lady

a friend told me that she has 2 giant rubbermaid containers full of purses under her bed. another girl i know was thrilled to get a coach purse for her graduation present. when did the purse shift happen? initially your parents were responsible for being your mobile supply receptacles, we then upgraded to a functional backpack to stash homework and dog eared library books, and now we have closets teeming with purses- some of these even have co-ordinating wallets.

i had one brown leather shoulder bag; for years. friends and family repeatedly asked if i wanted a new one for my next birthday/christmas/st. patrick's day present. when engagement season kicked off i did venture out to lazarus and bought a "special event purse", but when my first winter wedding invitation arrived, even i knew i couldn't show up with a little straw clutch in a fetching shade of camel. the winter wedding purse does conveniantly double up as a funeral purse, which i seem to find myself attending with more frequency the older i get. i hate the idea of changing purses, or changing what i'm carrying in them, because i invariably forget or don't have room for my essentials. so now i buy sam's club quantities of chapstick, tweezers, pens, tissues and headache pills for each. this is far too much to worry about for something that's primary function is to transport your crap from a to b. i feel the same way about watches, they are for telling the time, not matching my belt, shoes or an event.

the snowball is picking up speed down the hill; my mother got me one of those cute, fun, knock-off purses (which has been hanging on the back of my door ever since). those letter initial purses were suddenly all the rage and i received a purse that was handy if i needed one to match the first letter of the month or my current mood state.

so now my purse collection has mushroomed from an 'everyday' and 2 wedding purses to almost 10. i feel out of control. my mother just sent me another purse, identical to one i already have, except this happens to be in chocolate brown instead of tan. when i called to thank her she said they would match a pair of shoes i have.

perhaps i am quietly anxious that i too may become one of those "purse girls" and you'll see me in the back of target perusing my rubbermaid options. i can't wait until i'm officially a granny. my purse will carry me through day, evening, and all manner of functions, perhaps i'll even get to slap a mugger in the face with it.