never under-estimate the trail

day two of the pineland farms trail festival and it was the girl's turn to go the distance. because after all, "a 25k is just like running around the lake with a few more miles thrown in- and it's not like i'm doing the 50k or 50 miler, like those other nutters out there today".



and so we ran 'the course of a thousand hills', because really, the only thing consistent throughout the race (clearly not my heart rate or pace) were the unrelenting inclines. runners hurriedly shuffled across wide, open, scorched farmland to get to the respite of some shaded trail, to then grind to a trudging halt when confronted with 7 or 8 rollers, before resurfacing into yet another field.



a few hours (and several litres of cytomax) later, we crossed into the finish chute (thankfully bidding farewell to the 50 miler's who had registered for a third loop) burnt, bitten, salt encrusted, and turgid with gummy bears and pretzels.

axel eats small children for breakfast

pineland farms is a former sanatorium that was recently converted into a year round playground for all the things anyone worth their north face collection could ever hope to do on a trail. this weekend includes races of varying distance that can be done barefoot, wheel barrow style, as a 3-legged event, and even with your very own four-legged friend. because more so than those crazy 'cat people', the dog owner will go to great lengths to anthropomorphize their pooch, forking out $30 for a chance to run with their pal (and a technical race t-shirt) in a 5k "canicross".



typically race regulations set limits on the use of mp3's, placement of bib number, and tripping your fellow competitors in the start corral. in canicross, disqualification occurs if you do not pick up after your dog (this may have more to do with the fact that the barefoot 5k's start time was after), and so it is entirely realistic that runner's will have to make a pit stop and then transport a little sack of steamers across the finish line as well.



unfortunately, axel was beaten by a girl, and a small yappie one at that.



overall, he enjoyed the scenic course, appreciated the placement of aide stations, and has even committed to registering again next year- although he wants a race number too.



i think that this may be due, in large part, to the unlimited and free beer available to all runners.

ask and ye shall receive; burning quads and a full body bug bite

i'm not sure how the transition from 'young and single' or 'single-into-the-third-decade-and-now-i've-forgotten-how-to-share-the-duvet-or-my-cute-stain-free-towels-from-tj-maxx', to legalized cohabitation is best done by decking oneself out in a condom covered t-shirt, flashing your bits while getting out of a stretched white hummer, just so you can down cough syrup shots at nineteen different bars. i've seen the divorce statistics in US weekly magazine.

limits were thus set on a bridal shower/bachelorette "thing" that had to be completely devoid of twinsets, quiche, mike's hard lemonade or plastic penis paraphernalia. so we put on sensible shoes, covered ourselves in bug repellant and hiked up a mountain.



and then hiked back down under the influence. fortunately the only wildlife that we had to contend with were colourful bears, highly concentrated in corn syrup, and several bottles of fresh water, organic champagne basking in the rock pools.



finally, there is nothing like the relief of seeing a giant turd in the middle of the trail (for the second time), after riding around lost in the woods for three hours (last weekend's foray into the wilderness). there is also nothing like returning from champagne on the mount, to a patio full of men that have been working the grill.



and cake.

older, wiser, faster

progress can be measured on the track when you are able to keep up with the old men in ambiguously stained, cotton race t-shirts, circa 1978.



the 8 minute mile pack is a quieter group, less interested in (listening to my) whining, but always ready with advice on form and pace.

i feel like i'm back running with my dad.